


punk'd

by tuaslut



Series: are we related? [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Pepper Potts Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Peter Pranks Tony, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Pranks takes too far, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony gets pranked, but it’s not tooooo bad, kinda gory, tony cries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-16 07:15:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21503974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tuaslut/pseuds/tuaslut
Summary: Peter wants to prank Tony, the man who can never be pranked, but he takes it a bit too far.
Relationships: Natasha Romanov & Steve Rogers, Pepper Potts & Clint Barton, Pepper Potts & Natasha Romanov, Pepper Potts & Steve Rogers, Peter Parker & Clint Barton, Peter Parker & Natasha Romanov, Peter Parker & Natasha Romanov & Steve Rogers, Peter Parker & Pepper Potts, Peter Parker & Steve Rogers, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Tony Stark & Clint Barton, Tony Stark & Natasha Romanov, Tony Stark & Steve Rogers, Tony Stark/Pepper Potts
Series: are we related? [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1564384
Comments: 5
Kudos: 232
Collections: are we related?





	punk'd

* * *

Peter walks onto the patio to meet with Steve, Clint, Natasha, and Pepper.

“So, what’s going on?” Clint asks when Peter sits down.

Peter places a binder onto the patio table.

“I need your help.” He says.

“Sure, what do you need?” Steve asks, looking slightly worried.

“I want to prank Tony.” Peter says.

The four bust out into laughter while Peter looks at them with a straight face.

Steve chuckles after they calm down. “That- that was a good one, Peter.”

Steve looks at Peter’s face. “Oh, you’re serious.”

“Peter, honey, Tony never gets pranked. Ever.” Pepper says.

“Well, I wanna change that. He thought it was funny to make everyone call me Petielicious for a day, and he deserves payback.” Peter says.

“Oh, that was a funny day.” Clint says before Natasha slaps his shoulder.

“Of course we’ll help you, what do you need?” Natasha says.

Peter opens the binder and hands packets out around the table.

“Each of you has a certain task, that you must follow to the tee.” Peter says.

“How many plans are there?” Steve asks.

“Seventeen. Now, turn to page three, section two, to see what you’ll be required to do.” Peter says.

“Seventeen?!” Clint says in shock. “Also, why am I the one who dies?”

“Because you ask too many questions.” Peter says. “Now, when you’re done reading, turn to page seven to see how plan Alpha will play out. This is the plan we stick to if there’s no mistakes. Any flaws or loopholes means we shift to the next plan, which in this case is plan Stock Market. We’ll be connected with earpieces to communicate if anything, and I mean _anything_ goes wrong.” Peter says.

”Can we know the first five plans, because going through seventeen detailed plans seems a lot harder than just five.” Steve says.

Peter sighs. ”The first five are Alpha, Stock Market, 1837, 747, and Titanic. Stock Market is really if a specific mistake happens, so you’d probably be better off skipping it.”

”What’s the specific mistake?” Natasha asks.

”If Clint forgets his contact lenses.” Peter says.

”How is that a mistake?” Clint asks.

”Without them, you don’t look possessed and the plan falls apart.” Peter says.

”I like where this is going.” Natasha says with a smile.

_—eight days into the plan_ —

Peter, Natasha, and Steve are in one of the master bathrooms, experiencing some... difficulties.

“Steve, open your eye.” Natasha says, holding the contact lens with the small forceps.

”Is this not open enough?” Steve asks, holding his eye open with four fingers.

”Open it wider.” Peter says, sitting on the bathroom counter.

”That’s not possible, my eye will rip open.” Steve says.

“You’re being overdramatic, now open your fucking eye.” Natasha says, impatient.

”Language!” Steve says. “And this is as far as you’re gonna get.”

”Peter, do it.” Natasha says.

Peter stands on the bathroom counter and straddles Steve’s shoulders.

”Queens, what are you doing?” Steve says as Peter swats Steve’s hands away and pries open his eye with two hands.

”I’m not gonna be here all day.” Peter says. “Natasha, go.”

Natasha pushes Steve’s hips against the counter and places the contact lens into his eye.

”Now, was that so hard?” Natasha says, stepping back to admire her work.

”It feels weird. And why are they so big?” Steve asks, holding onto Peter’s legs so he doesn’t fall.

“They're scleral contacts, they cover your whole eye.” Natasha says.

”They’re what?” Steve says, looking in the mirror. “My whole eye is black, oh my god.”

“That’s the point, Steve.” Natasha says. “We’re going for the ‘possessed demon’ look.”

”We’re halfway done, so don’t chicken out now.” Peter says, opening Steve’s other eye.

”Halfway?! I thought we were only putting in one!” Steve says as Natasha places the other contact in his eye.

”You have to wear these for the whole day so you get used to them.” Peter says, climbing off of Steve’s shoulders.

”I have to meet Tony in an hour!” Steve sighs.

”Here you go.” Natasha says, handing him a pair of dark sunglasses.

Steve puts them on. “This isn’t gonna work.”

”What do you mean, you look greaaaaat.” Peter says, sitting back down on the counter.

”Unlike Tony, I can’t pull off wearing sunglasses indoors.” Steve says, crossing his arms.

“Give me your phone.” Natasha says as Peter snatches it out of his back pocket.

“Hey!” Steve says, trying to reach for the phone before Peter tosses it to Natasha.

”And... you’re meeting him at the Sunset Café now.” Natasha says, sending a message before handing Steve his phone back.

”What would I do without you guys?” Steve asks in a sarcastic tone.

”Die!” Peter pipes in from behind Steve.

”Would you miss me?” Steve asks.

”Do I get your room?” Peter asks from his seat on the counter.

”No.” Steve says.

”You’re not gonna be using it!” Peter whines.

”It’s called reserving the memory, Peter.” Steve says as he opens the door to leave.

”There won’t be a memory to reserve if you’re dead!” Peter whines as Steve walks out.

Clint is standing at the threshold, scrolling on his phone.

”You’re up. Good luck.” Steve says as he pats Clint’s shoulder before tilting his sunglasses down to give him a wink.

Clint looks up at Steve with a face of fear and shock.

”I- he- Nat, no, he looks crazy!” Clint says as Natasha drags him into the bathroom and closes the door.

— _twenty seven days into the plan—_

“From the top!” Peter yells from his web hammock hanging from the ceiling. 

Steve groans from his spot over Pepper. “I thought I was good that time!”

”Did you even take Dr. Kesig’s advice?” Peter says as he loudly chews on hot chips. “You have to cradle her head! Do you wanna murder the CEO of Stark Industries?”

“I don’t think that works in my favor.” Pepper says from her spot on the ground.

”Queens, I’m hearing a whole lot of dictating and not a whole lot of action.” Steve huffs.

”Fine.” Peter says before he puts his bag of chips down and swings a web to the ground. “If you’re not gonna do it right, I will.”

”At least wipe the red dust off your hands.” Pepper laughs as she looks at his fingertips.

Peter looks at his fingers before wiping them on Steve’s shirt.

”Hey!” Steve says, trying to wipe the crumbs off. “Tony got me this shirt.”

”It’s ugly.” Clint inputs from the vents.

”I didn’t clean the air filters like I said!” Steve yells.

”C’mon, it’s already allergy season!” Clint groans.

”Now, let me show the amateurs how it’s done.” Peter says as he kneels by Pepper’s side.

”You're confident you can do this?” Pepper asks.

”Absolutely, now just relax.” Peter says before he cracks Pepper’s neck.

”Hear the crack?” Peter says. “That’s what happens when you break the bucatini _and_ you crack the neck. I wanna hear the ‘is it a bone or is it just really convincing’ snap, Steve.”

“Can I get a break?” Pepper asks. “I have a meeting in fifteen minutes.”

”Says who?” Peter asks.

”Says the head of one of the biggest tech industries in Taiwan.” Pepper says as she sits up.

”Fine.” Peter sighs. “Clint, you’re up!”

Clint rolls out of the vent into a standing position and stretches. “I feel like I’ve been in a box.”

”You basically were.” Peter says. “Now stand here and act... like you, I guess.”

”What does that mean?” Clint asks.

”It means act dumb..” Steve starts.

”Stupid...” Natasha inputs.

”Oblivious!” Pepper shouts as she walks out.

”And like a New York crackhead.” Peter finishes. 

“You guys better not be in any alleyways any time soon!” Clint says as everyone laughs.

— _two months into the plan—_

Peter walks into the room. 

“Guys, guess what day it is!” Peter says as he jumps onto the couch.

”July 27th.” Steve says as he makes popcorn on the stove.

”Good, act like that when plan Alpha goes into action.” Peter says.

”Today? You said the update was tomorrow?” Clint asks.

”Yes, today, it’s todayyyyyy! He decided to move up the update because of a cancelled meeting!” Peter says in a sing-song voice.

”Okay then, I need to cancel my plans for tonight.” Clint says as he pulls out his phone.

”You better hope we don’t get to plan Xylophone or we’re in here for days.” Natasha says.

Peter gasps. “You read the whole thing!” 

“It seemed important to you.” Natasha says before Peter tackles her in a bear hug.

”That’s the nicest thing ever!” Peter says as he pulls back, grinning ear to ear.

”I’ve done better.” Clint says while chewing on a danish.

”That’s highly unlikely. Also, popcorn’s almost done.” Steve says, turning around. “Clint, I just said the popcorn is almost done.”

”Can popcorn have a flakey crust?” Clint asks, taking another bite.

”Are those crumbs on my marble kitchen counter?” Pepper says as she walks in.

”No, ma’am.” Clint says as he wipes the crumbs onto the floor.

”Are you excited, Peter! All your hard work over the past two months is finally gonna get recognized!” Pepper says as she squeezes Peter’s shoulders.

”I’m also very nervous, what if it goes completely wrong and he freaks out?” Peter asks.

”Peter. You’ve done too much research, planned out scenarios wayyy too much, and made too many noodles for this to go wrong.” Steve says.

”Speaking about that, Clint, if you eat my pasta one more time, I will fish it out of your esophagus.” Peter says.

”That’s your fault for making delicious pasta.” Clint says as he grabs a kernel of popcorn from the pot.

”Anyways, you guys know your lines when he walks in in about... seven minutes and fifty-two seconds and counting?“ Peter asks, glancing at the clock on the wall.

”Yes, Peter. It’s okay, it’ll go great, he’ll be scared, you’ll be the prank king, and everything will go well. Now, relax. We may be faking normalcy when he walks in, but all of you will eat my popcorn and watch a movie.” Steve says before he turns off the stove.

———

Tony strolls into the living room, scrolling on his phone.

He looks up to see Peter, Clint, Steve, Natasha, and Pepper getting ready to watch a movie, with Steve making popcorn on the stove. Clint places blankets and pillows down on the couch while Natasha, Peter, and Pepper stand behind the couch to scroll for a movie.

“Pete, don’t forget you have training in an hour. FRI won’t be able to remind you because of the update.” Tony says.

Peter groans. “That’s today?”

“Yes, it’s today. I need to record your new muscle strength. You weren’t able to lift a parking garage last month.” Tony says.

“Parking garage?” Clint asks.

”Don’t worry about it.” Peter says before Tony could comment.

“Tony,” Pepper says, walking up to Tony and wrapping her arms around his torso. “Can’t he just watch one movie with us?”

“One.” Tony says, pulling back to hold up a finger. “Just one.”

“Better make it count.” Clint says, plopping down on the couch.

“Oooh, how about that one?” Peter says, pointing at the flatscreen.

“Seen it, plot’s boring.” Natasha says, scrolling further.

Tony starts to walk down the hall before Peter notices and runs after him.

“Hey, where are you going?” Peter asks, standing in Tony’s path.

“I was gonna go talk to Bruce about a theory I have. Just some boring quantum mechanics stuff.” Tony says.

“Can I come with?” Peter asks.

“What about your movie?” Tony asks.

“It can wait.” Peter says, with a wave of his hand.

“You’re giving up watching a movie, so you can come with me to do boring science work? Kid, go watch the movie, I’ll be here alllllll day.” Tony says.

“Fine, but I’ll meet up with you after.” Peter says before walking down the hall.

———

Tony looks at the clock and frowns.

_Peter’s never this late_ , Tony thinks.

“Hey, Bruce, gonna go check on where the spidermonkey is.” Tony says as he’s walking to the door.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” Bruce says before looking back at the holographic image.

Tony takes the elevator up to the floor the five were watching the movie on. The doors open to Clint, Natasha, Steve, and Pepper watching a movie, but no Peter.

“Where’s Peter?” Tony asks. “He was supposed to meet with me fifteen minutes ago.”

“He said he had to get something and never came back.” Pepper says. “We just assumed he got distracted.”

“Huh, guess I’ll check his room.” Tony says as he walks down the hall.

He walks up to Peter’s door and lightly knocks.

“Hey, Pete, you in there?” Tony asks, with no answer.

Tony places his hand on the doorknob before he hesitates. _I shouldn’t invade his privacy_ , he thinks.

He walks back down the hall to see the four all crowded around the other opening of the hallway, the movie long forgotten.

“Guys, what’s going on?” Tony says, trying to squeeze his way to the front.

Steve stammers. “P-Pe-“

Tony gets to the front and finally sees what they’re staring at. A figure similar to Peter’s physique is standing at the other end of the hallway, drenched in blood.

“Is that-“ Tony says before the figure lets out a blood-curdling screech.

“What the fuck is that thing?” Clint asks.

“No clue.” Natasha quietly says, bending down to pull a knife out of her sock.

“Really?” Steve asks.

“You gotta be prepared.” Natasha says as she twirls the small knife around her finger.

“Is this really the time to be talking about this? That —thing— looks awful and it’s ruining my floors.” Pepper says.

”They can be replaced.” Clint says.

”If you can resurrect the creator of these trademarked tiles and get them to make a thousand more, then they can be replaced.” Pepper responds.

“This is the worst time for FRIDAY to be updating.” Tony says.

”Smartest man in the world and you can’t update your AI in the night?” Natasha asks.

”Come to me when you’re a millionaire with one of the world’s largest companies.” Tony says.

”Are we really having a ‘who’s richer’ contest?” Steve sighs.

”There’s no contest, I’ll always be the winner.” Tony says.

”Tony, don’t even _start_ this right now, we are in a crisis and you wanna talk about who has more money?! If you die, there is no money for you to have! You’ll be dead!” Pepper says.

”She’s got a point.” Clint says.

”Robin Hood, nobody asked you.” Tony says.

”That was a compliment because he’s actually cool.” Clint says.

”Yeah, to five year olds.” Natasha says back.

”He stole from the rich and donated to the poor! What’s not to like!” Clint says.

”Are you trying to tell me you’re gonna rob me?” Tony asks.

As the five are busy bickering, the figure scurries over to Clint, whose back is turned, and slowly stands up behind him.

“I’m just saying that carrying a whole dagger near your foot is quite unnecess- Clint, watch out, watch out!” Steve says but it’s too late.

The figure places its wet hands on Clint’s face and quickly snaps his neck, a loud snap resonating throughout the room.

The four freeze in shock for a second before they start screaming and sprinting in different directions. Tony, Natasha, and Pepper run left and Steve runs right.

“I’m gonna go get ready while you and Pep distract Tony.” Steve says over the earpiece.

“You’re taking the elevator? Really?” Natasha says as the ding from the elevator button sounds over the earpieces.

“I’m not walking eighteen flights of stairs.” Steve says, pressing the button again.

Steve keeps pressing the down button as the figure starts to creep over to Steve, its steps quiet.

“Okay, we’re with him now, see you in a bit.” Steve hears Natasha say over the earpiece.

“Okay, be carefu-“ Steve says before he feels something wet on his hand.

Steve slowly turns to his right to find the figure standing in front of him, poking his hand.

“Peter, I thought you said we were gonna downplay the blood.” Steve says.

“We were, but I spilled it on myself.” Peter says. “Now, smear some blood on you and put your contacts in.”

“But I like this shirt.” Steve says as he looks down.

“It specifically said ‘wear clothes you wouldn’t mind getting dirty’ in section 17.” Peter says before smearing a bloody hand across Steve’s face. “Hurry and change into something... dingier. The blood packs are in your room, on your desk.”

_—meanwhile—_

On the other side of the tower, Tony, Pepper, and Natasha are trying to open the east wing staircase doors.

“Try again!” Pepper says.

“Pep, I’ve ‘tried again’ seventeen times. It’s not moving.” Tony says.

“I’m not getting killed by that demonic thing. This is _not_ how I die, Tony.” Pepper says. “So. Try. Again.”

“Let me try.” Natasha says, trying to diffuse the situation. She kicks the door and it doesn’t open.

“Well, it’s really stuck.” She says.

“Oh my god, we didn’t know that!” Tony says sarcastically.

“At least I tried. You just tried to move the doorknob.” Natasha says.

“Well, how do doors open? WITH DOORKNOBS!” Tony retorts.

“Don’t start with me, Stark!” Natasha says.

“Will you two please shut up and think about how we’re gonna either get out of here or kill that... thing.” Pepper snaps.

“Sorry.” Tony says.

“Why can’t you just zap it with your suit?” Natasha says.

“I can’t unlock the lab or any door without FRIDAY, and all the suits are in there.” Tony says.

“You couldn’t think of a key?” Natasha says.

“Keys can be copied. But, the only other way in is through... the vents.” Tony says.

“I miss his stupid face already.” Natasha says.

“He was really stupid, huh.” Pepper chuckles.

“He tried to shrink a penny by putting it in the microwave.” Natasha says, tears coming to her eyes.

“That was my favorite microwave. It was so pretty.” Tony says, a tear sliding down his cheek. “And my mom bought it for me in college.”

The three are interrupted by Steve walking down the hallway, his face and shirt smeared with blood.

“Don’t tell me you went for an outfit change in a crisis like- Steve?” Tony says.

Steve’s head lifts up to reveal glossy black eyes glaring at the three.

“Trying out a new look?” Tony asks before Steve screams, blood pouring out of his mouth.

“Holy shit!” Tony says, looking at the two women.

Natasha and Tony share a look before the figure starts to run towards the three.

Natasha tries to sprint past Steve, but Steve quickly grabs her by the waist.

She thrashes against Steve’s hold, trying to release his grip.

Tony tries to lunge at Steve, but Pepper holds him back before he can get to her.

”Let...me..go...” Tony grunts, trying to shimmy away.

”I’m not losing you, either, Tony.” Pepper says, not releasing her grip.

Steve looks up at Tony and Pepper, and flashes a bloody smile before he presses on Natasha’s pressure point. Her head lolls on her shoulders and she falls limp within seconds.

He then lays her on the ground and straddles her hips before snapping her neck, the same gruesome crunch from earlier echoing through the corridor.

Tony lets out a scream and falls to the ground. Pepper tries to get him to stand back up, hurriedly tapping his shoulder.

“Tony, I know it hurts, but we can’t stay here, we gotta go.” Pepper rambles as the figure stands up and starts to walk towards the two.

Pepper stands up and lifts Tony up with her.

“Hey, we gotta go, like now.” Pepper says before running past Steve.

Tony stands frozen as Steve grabs Pepper’s arm.

“ANTHONY EDWARD STARK, MOVE! LIKE RIGHT NOW!” Pepper screams as she struggles to move away from Steve.

Tony is standing in shock as Steve pulls Pepper towards him. He presses down on her pressure point, Pepper's body falling limp against Steve.

Tony’s frozen in horror as Steve slowly puts Pepper down before he brutally snaps her neck, the crunch more deafening the third time it’s heard.

Tony slumps to the ground as he’s hit with the gravity of the situation. _Everyone’s dead,_ _they’re all gone_ , Tony thinks as sobs wrack his body.

Tony doesn’t notice Steve freezing in place and Pepper lifting her head off the floor to look at Tony.

Eventually, Tony’s cries quieten, and he’s hit with a sudden burst of adrenaline as he gets up and runs in the opposite direction.

———

“Crying?” Peter asks over the earpiece.

“Yeah, he was shaking and everything.” Steve says. “Maybe we should cut it altogether.”

“But we’re so close to the end. Do you think he’ll be able to take it?” Peter asks, unsure.

“He’ll be able to take it, but at what cost?” Steve says, causing Peter to think for a minute.

“Okay, we’re switching to 1837.” Peter says.

“Why is it called that again?” Clint asks, standing next to Peter.

“It means the original plan crashed, like the bank system in the panic of 1837.” Peter says.

“Of course you’d know that.” Clint says.

“Anyways, where is he now?” Peter says, ignoring Clint’s comment.

“He ran in the direction of the residential suites.” Steve says.

“This is gonna get messy.” Peter sighs.

”I’m not mopping the floor.” Steve says.

”Oh, yes you are!” Pepper says over the earpiece. “These are custom-made tiles!”

———

Tony trembles as he hides in the pantry, hands shaking as he tries to call Peter for the seventeenth time. Still no service. _He really needs to fix the LTE coverage on the StarkPhones._

He lets out a shaky breath before he hears someone talking.

“Tony...come on out...let’s play a game...” Natasha says in a sing-song voice.

“Don’t worry...we’ll play your favorite...hide-and-seek...” Steve says in the same tone.

Tony shakes his head as he remembers what happened.

“I’ll count... one... two, three!” Pepper says, giggling at the end.

Tony lets out a silent cry as he remembers what Steve did to her before he thinks. _How can they be alive?_

Tony looks at the gap under the pantry door to see the shadows coming closer to the door.

“Hey, Tony, where’d you- what the hell?” Bruce says as he enters the room.

Tony hears quiet murmurs and whispers before quick footsteps walk away from the room and someone walks to the pantry door and whips it open.

He lets out a non-girly scream as he’s met with the face of the figure, who oddly looks like Peter.

Tony examines the figure’s face as he’s frozen in fear, looking at its deep gashes and black eyes as it smiles at Tony, bloody fangs sparkling in the light.

“Tonyyyyyyy.” The five say as they crowd the door, boxing Tony in. He notices all of them have black eyes that extend out to the corners of their scleras.

“N-no, please don’t, I won’t tell, I swear, nobody will know what you did, please don’t kill me, please don’t, I’m so sorry.” Tony rambles as tears run down his face.

“Someone didn’t play the game, and now they must pay.” Natasha cackles.

“It’s okay, it’ll be painless... for us!” Clint says, laughing loudly, his black eyes twinkling.

Tony scoots backwards until his back hits the wall of the small pantry, cowering in on himself as Steve steps closer and closer.

He whimpers as Steve roughly grabs Tony’s shoulders and lifts him into a standing position, his hands digging into the meat of Tony’s deltoids.

“Tony, look at me.” Steve says, face conveying worry.

Tony frantically shakes his head and tries to move away as Steve tries to calm Tony down.

“Tony, I need you to breathe, okay. Just follow my breaths.” Steve says, placing Tony’s hand on his chest.

Tony tries to breathe as he sees Natasha touching her eyes and removing black scleral contact lenses.

Tony stares in confusion as the scary situation turned into a quite embarrassing moment.

“Wha-“ Tony says before seeing the once scary figure peel off silicone and scar wax to reveal a scared Peter.

“You?!” Tony says, looking at Peter in shock.

“Tony, Tony, breathe, breathe.” Steve says, trying to get Tony to focus on him.

Tony glares at Peter, who shrinks under Tony’s gaze, as he calms his breathing down.

“What was this?” Tony quietly asks after a few moments of awkward silence.

“I- it was meant to be a prank.” Peter says in a small voice.

“You organized this?” Tony says. “My own child, scaring me into a heart attack, I can’t believe this.”

“I thought this was a prank war!” Peter says.

“Pranks are putting someone’s bed on the roof, tying someone’s shoes together. This is a nightmare simulation.” Tony says, gesturing his hands around the room.

“And you,” Tony says, whipping around to face Pepper. “My own girlfriend, betraying me so? I shall bequeath my devotion to a better maiden.”

“What’s with the Renaissance talk?” Natasha says, smirk on her face.

“Don’t get me started on you.” Tony says, pointing a finger at her. “You’re like my killer spy sister, and you do this to me?”

“I can’t believe my own family would betray me in such a way, you should all be ashamed of yourselves.” Tony continues.

Everyone stands in awkward silence until Clint walks in.

“You guys never gave me the si- oh.” Clint says.

“ _And he_ _’s not even dead_?!” Tony says.

“N-no? It was just-“ Clint stammers before Natasha slaps him upside the head, shutting him up.

“This- I need a minute, no, give me an hour.” Tony says as he walks off.

———-

Peter lightly knocks on Tony’s door, even though it’s open.

Tony looks up from his spot on the carpet floor before looking away. “What?”

“C-can I talk to you?” Peter says.

“Can’t stop you now, can I?” Tony says.

“Look, we’re really sorry that happened. We didn’t really calculate how you would take it during planning.” Peter says.

Tony turns his head around. “You planned this? For how long?”

“About two months, with rehearsals.” Peter says.

“You hid this from me for two fucking months? I don’t know if I should be impressed or disappointed.” Tony says.

“I just really wanted to get you back for Petielicious.” Peter says.

“That was probably one of the best ones I’ve done. Took some work, but oh, it was worth it.” Tony says, a small smile on his face.

“You got Mr. Delmar to call me that, that’s a feat of its own.” Peter says. “But anyways, I’m super sorry. I went too far and I didn’t bring into account how you’d feel after it, and I’m sorry.”

Tony looks at Peter for a second. “You’re really choked up on this, huh?”

“Seeing you cry just-“ Peter says before turning his head. Tony can hear him sniffling and sees him rubbing his eyes.

“Pete. I’m not mad that you did it.” Tony says.

Peter lifts his head up. “You’re not?”

“No, I’m just mad that you did it so good. That’s a Tony Stark prank and it came from ‘hand in water’ Peter.” Tony says.

“It’s a classic!” Peter says.

“It’s redundant. Anywho, it was a really good prank, and I’m proud of you. You showed initiative with this, even if it was in the most unorthodox way possible.” Tony says.

“This is not going how I expected it.” Peter says.

“Come here, John Huston.” Tony jokes.

“You remembered!” Peter says happily, sitting on the carpet next to Tony.

Tony bumps shoulders with Peter. “I mean, you wouldn’t shut up about it for a week, so I couldn’t forget.

Peter’s eyes get a twinkle in them.

“Peter, no.” Tony says.

“How many ping-pong balls do you own?” Peter asks.

———

“So how’d you do it, how’d you prank the unprankable?” Tony asks as he lays on the couch.

“Scleral contact lenses, lots of fake blood, good planning, giant pasta noodles, tape, and chiropractor lessons.” Peter says, plopping down next to him.

“Yeah, you’re gonna have to explain the last four.” Tony says.

“You always update FRIDAY every three months on days you have no meetings, and I knew one was coming up, so I planned accordingly. Then, I made some giant bucatini noodles, and made sure the holes were bigger, so then I dried them out for a week or so, so they’d get that bone-breaking snap when you broke it. And then I just taped them to their necks and had Steve and I talk to a chiropractor to learn how they crack necks. So, when you ‘snapped the neck’, it really was us cracking their necks while pressing down on the noodles hard enough.” Peter says.

“That’s- really meticulous. I’m so proud!” Tony says, pulling Peter into a hug before peppering kisses on his face.

“Alright, alright!” Peter giggles.

“Now I can finally tell May I’ve corrupted you!” Tony says.

“That— isn’t a good thing.” Peter says, confusion in his voice.

“Sure, it is. You’re finally taking after your old dad.” Tony says.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading this, pls feel free to leave kudos and comments <3  
> -mel
> 
> (also John Huston is a celeb who pranked a friend by dropping thousands of ping pong balls via helicopter into his golf court)


End file.
